Did people ever make comments about your weight in a negative way?
Talking about weight is a rather touchy subject with me. As a child I was constantly bullied through primary school for being overweight. My own friends would gang up on me and think it were funny to watch me try and run fast, commenting on the food I would be eating, and how I couldn’t do well at all in sports class. I spent most of my after school days crying to my mum, with my parents constantly going back and forth to the school to sort the never-ending situation. I managed to over come it by losing some weight by the last year and made friends, however feeling comfortable in my own skin at 10 y/o just made me feel I could eat whatever I wanted again.
In high school I piled on the pounds through silly school dinner meals, tuck shops, friends sharing lunches. I was surrounded by skinny friends, I was the blob of the group. Eventually throughout the first two years there again was a group of girls who felt the need to make fun of me. For my size and every thing else they wished to. They started to neglect inviting me out to group outings. Instead they lied to me about going. All of this made me comfort eat a lot.. not solving any of my weight issues.
My 5th year there was the year of my prom, and I was one of the most popular girls in the school. Had made a name for myself for being fun, bubbly, mini trouble maker in class (teachers still loved me but still). I had a lot of friends and loved my life. I started to eat healthier, and participate in more sports than usual. The pounds dropped instantly, however hidden behind my frumpy uniform it was barely noticeable. However prom was my time to shine, my achievement of the weight loss was a shock to all, and I had many many positive compliments. I felt on top of the world.
Unfortunately my weight loss kept going, I loved the control I had, and it winded down the wrong way. That part of my life is a blur I want to forget, however it haunts me everyday… This is where I started to et comments on my weight. Never to my face but behind my back: ‘does she even eat?’, ‘she must be anorexic’, ‘don’t eat around her!’, ‘we can’t invited her out for meals’, thinking back I’m surprised noone confronted me. I had one true best friend at the time who defended me always! She constantly said to everyone how I was eating I was fine, and now I run a lot etc. She was so supportive of me :) which was so reassuring to have someone.
Unfortunately she ended up developing an ED eventually too.. she had seemed to learn a lot of my food habits through spending all her time with me. She knew how I avoided situations, what foods to steer clear of.. I felt awful!
After many health problems, hospital visits I started to tell myself if I don’t want to die I have to force feed myself. It was torture but I did it! The compliments on my weight gain were unbelievable, and my friends were very proud. But of course it led to more problems, and I developed binge eating disorder and anxiety. Anxiety still affecting me now…
I don’t get many weight comments now, and am glad, I really don’t want to know others opinions right now. I need to be happy with myself and not worry about everything else contributing to my weight gains/losses.